Dog S***


The Dodgings of Doggie Doodoo

by M.J. MooresDog-Poop

Okay, you’re probably wondering how someone could possibly be eloquent speaking on the topic of dog excrement – I get it, it’s not a subject for keeners or the refined, or is it?

If you ever owned a dog, or watched a friend or family’s dog for any length of time, you will know that the generally happy bundle of fur needs to do his business – and someone needs to pick it up.

That’s what I said – Pick It Up.

Now you’re horrified at the fact that I’m making accusations that you don’t properly care for your four-legged best buddy – My apologies, but the fact of the matter is that some dog owners get lazy.

As a mother of a toddler, getting out of the house and walking to the park is a daily necessity.  I am trying to encourage my son to be an active, healthy child (and keep myself from going stir-crazy at the same time).  However, when the field and pathways that lead to our local park are not properly cared for by loving dog owners, my son and I are left dodging landmines.

This is a considerable concern come the spring when snow melts and layers of forgotten feces drop like overripe fruit – the mess is appalling.  How is it that a good person is able to reach over and take care of little Snoopy’s stool the rest of the year but cannot be brought to bend down in the winter time?  Yes, it’s cold.  Yes, Snoopy is likely freezing his little bundles off but good grief, Charlie Brown, this is Canada.  If you don’t want to pick up your dog’s droppings in sub-zero weather then move out of the country or don’t own a dog.

As for those ‘on occasion’ people who can clearly read the government sign posting, “Poop & Scoop” with a bi-law indicating a fine for offenders, I say shame on you.  These people choose to ignore puppy’s number two because they’re in a hurry – I say ‘man up and grow a pair’ (this does not exclude women or purse dogs).  By the very act of owning a dog you have taken the unspoken oath to love, cherish, respect, play with, and clean up after your canine.  Just because you can get away with it, doesn’t mean that you should.

Dogs are trainable, like humans.  Given enough time and practice they can learn to do astounding things.  If you can’t be bothered to pick up after your dog, and giving him up is out of the question, then teach him to use the toilet.  It will save you from a guest of icy air up the back in the winter and it will save my son from playing in someone else’s s***.

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Categories: Rants, Writerly Rants

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