Dark & Dizzying Truths, Sara Khayat ~ Poet

By M.J. Moores on May 13, 2014 • ( 1 )

Gray Prison

“The biggest mistake you will ever make is
taking me seriously.” He said, his head lying
on my abdomen as we parked in a cul de sac,

disconnected

from rush hour traffic smoke overwhelming our lungs
blood rushing from head to toe head to toe to neck to
blood-brain-barriers protecting us from toxic
self-destruction

I laughed through a cough as ashes spread all along
my front. Streetlights dimmed, his fingers traveling
aimlessly across my forearm lower limbs devoid of
blood. The brain— suffocating from too much
attention.

“Why?” I asked. The vibrations of his chuckling moved
my body like a gray ocean as he explained the gangs,
the prison, the drugs and the alcohol abuse.

The schizoaffective disorder that

disconnects

him from reality

Any normal person would have been nervous.
Unlocked the car doors realizing the real monster
was inside—mismatched chemicals as if the brain
were some kind of prison.

“Are you afraid of me?” he asked as cars approached
us in the cul de sac I pulled him closer to me like the
world was the threat and we were just trying to cling onto
happiness’s skirt tail for a moment holding emotions on a tight
leash ready to retract them at any sight of danger.

Two weeks later his phone was

disconnected.

I breathed in the chemicals
and got lost.

–

Dust

Honesty is a termite and it
will

–
bite bite bite

–
you

–
shave off the little
white lies

–
and the

–
black goodbyes
multiply and divide chewing down

your wooden heart

–

I had set to burn.

–
You text me to tell me

–
I’m getting old
–
and I know you meant
stale not wrinkled.

–
Since you’re closing in on
thirty
and I’ve only just turned
twenty-one.

–
Come back to me and say
you’re sorry.

–
And I’ll pick you up
lightly

–
and snap you in
two

–
so you can feel what it’s like to be
broken

–
And I can leave you this time
crumpled on the floor I’ll make sure to sweep away all of the
termite’s dust leaving you with nothing but the truth

–
crawling under your skin feasting on deceit and you’ll
be clean again smoke and needles cleared away
eyes white like you were before she turned you

–

sour.

Sara Khayat was born and raised in Los Angeles, California. She currently studies creative writing and psychology at a California State University. She is the editor-in-chief of thepaperplanepilots.com. Her work has appeared in Metaphor magazine, The Blue Hour Magazine, and various other magazines and journals. In October of 2013 she released a book of her poetry titled Borrowed Bones. She is in the process of editing an anthology by the Paper Plane Pilots titled Reasons to Never Return to be released in June of 2014.